Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
