Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
