Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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