Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
