If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
