It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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