I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
