I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
