there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
