remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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