It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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