I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
