Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
