can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
