I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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