Already got asked if we're dating
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
