I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
