Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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