Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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