6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
