So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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