she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
