once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
