u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
it's like iHOP with fire
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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