Do you still have your period?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
