Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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