Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
