and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
