jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
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This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
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I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...