i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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