I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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