my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
