TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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