508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
