Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
