For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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