yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
