I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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