I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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