the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
