I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
