Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
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Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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