Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
