like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
