I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
