and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My nipple is on Facebook.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
