Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
