I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
