I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Drunk is not a location!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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