Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
