dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
