im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
