I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
God, I missed his penis.
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