I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
PANTIES FOUND
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