she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
