I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
