I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
