omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
