I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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