if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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