I'm lost and stupid without you.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
